Parinaz Shams
We’ve been fed a false narrative that life should be easy.
We’ve been told that If we’re doing it right, we should be free of stress, challenge, uncertainty, fear, and self-doubt.
We’ve been shown that a happy life is one that’s imperfectly perfect— one where we have some inconsequential drama go down between pilates and our lunch meetings, but at the end of the day, we are somehow flawless, insanely successful, and everyone loves us.
This narrative is killing us.
It’s slowly sucking the joy, purpose, and love out of our very ordinary lives because it makes those of us (which is all of us) who are experiencing weeks, months, and years of struggle, uncertainty, starting over and moving on feel like we’re sucking at the game called life.
Personally, I felt for a long time like I was f*cking up because I never had a predictable, easy, one-dimensional path through life.
I never was able to settle on one path forward personally or professionally - I've always needed to try new things and go through the real experience to learn about myself and grow.
What I didn't see for a long time that I now understand is that raw life experience is actually the greatest teacher and leads you to your personal happiness.
While your MIND might look at other people in your world who have a predictable "easy" life and say "why can't I have that?"
You may actually be someone who thrives when you're in experiences.
Here's the truth that social media, TV, and the age of influencers cover up: real growth, and therefore fulfillment in life, does not come without serious friction.
Take, for example, childbirth. Such a powerful, happy outcome as bringing new life into the world is inextricably tied to pain. Physically, emotionally, and mentally from the process of conception to pregnancy to delivery.
You see the same thing in the natural creation of precious stones and gems - they are literally made from stress & friction.
Beautiful things are an expression of life's duality: the fundamental co-existence of good and bad, easy and hard, light and dark. YOU are no different. Embrace the process to find happiness.
The challenges, let down, and changes that come with really LIVING life are not always easy, but they are very tangible moments that guide you closer to what is truly right for you.
When you find what's truly RIGHT FOR YOU, happiness follows.
The punchline: instead of judging your path, TRUST your path is unfolding in a way that is right for your UNIQUE self and how you learn in the truest, deepest ways.
If YOU are looking to really start living in your authentic expression of happiness,
there are a few things to start doing now:
1) Clear your conditioning
I am convinced from my own journey and in working with hundreds of people of all stages, ages, and backgrounds that the root of our suffering is traced to the fact that we are disconnected from our True Self and buried under conditioning.
Conditioning means everything you've picked up along your path that tells you who you're supposed to be and how life is supposed to look.
When you become aware of your conditioning and all the agendas you're trying to push in life, you can finally do something to change them.
2) Get in touch with your physical body
You are a system. That means that your body is not separate from your mind and your emotions and thoughts. The stress you're going through is showing up in your body right now (whether you realize it or not) and how you treat your body shows up in how you treat yourself.
Start training, healing, and working as a system to change the game of your health, love, and overall happiness.
3) Heal your nervous system
Your body has its own intelligence.
It KNOWS what you need physically, mentally, and emotionally to feel happy, and give and receive joy. It's your unresolved PAST PAIN that gets stored in your nervous system's stress response that gets in the way.
It causes you to react, judge, and show up in fear, skepticism, and mistrust rather than your true self. This impacts literally everything from your health to relationships to your confidence at work.
Start connecting to your body's nervous system in a healing way using tools like yoga and somatic yoga to realize more love and joy.
Stop forcing it to do things in a way that your mind and past pain say it "should".
4) Drop the comparison mindset
The voices in your head that everyone else has more money, love, health, and joy than you are: A) not true and B) greatly reducing your chances of actually seeing how those very qualities are present in YOUR life.
If you step back and really ask yourself, "what IS working right now?" I bet you'll find you have more of at least one of these qualities flowing in your life at this moment.
5) FLOW over FORCE
I'm still learning this one. Whether it's in your relationships, job, or fitness., you need to slow it down. If there's current resistance, STOP pushing it trying to fix it in your own little way. Step back, pause, and proceed from a place of calm.
Meditation has been the most powerful tool for me to learn how to step back, connect with calm, and move with flow instead of force.
It's important to note that not all meditation is the same.
For me, Tantra Meditation I learned from my spiritual Guru (a 7th generational spiritual healer from the Tantra Lineage) has been the most impactful form of meditation that has actually resulted in changes to my energy and therefore my mindset and choices.
Grab a Tantra Meditation for free that I've recorded for you here.
6) Join a spiritual community
It will help you stay engaged and patient in finding YOUR happiness.
Unlearning the ways you've been taught to always be doing, going, and fixing takes time.
Learning how to truly honor YOUR happiness and choose yourself can be hard at times.
When you find a spiritual community where like-minded people are always seeking self-connection, self-healing, and inner happiness, they will help you stay true to yourself, too.
They will encourage, inspire, and hold you accountable.
When I went on my first retreat, I felt like a complete outsider because a lot of the topics and things we did - yoga, mindful eating, and deep chats about our feelings- were new to me then.
This is exactly why I created spiritual healing retreats as part of my spiritual Life Coaching Practice.
These retreats draw busy, ambitious men and women who are seeking MORE out of life, but aren't sure where to find it.
These retreats are NOT your typical vacation with a health smoothie and yoga class thrown in.
They've been described as "life-changing" "transformative" and "highly accessible for all who want to expand their consciousness."
If that's you, join us in 2023 for an Embrace Your Essence Retreat experience. You won't regret it.
Learn more by clicking the image below.
Let me know which one of these 6 steps speaks to you the most by leaving a comment.
Share this blog with someone who needs it today.
Cheers to our collective and individual happiness!
xx,
Parinaz
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